Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Close to My Heart

Grab you favorite beverage I feel a rant coming on! I will eventually get to the card info but first I MUST vent some steam!

Is it just me or is finding the perfect (hey I'd even settle for ACCEPTABLE) bra too much to ask for? I feel like I am on an eternal quest for two items: The perfect purse and the perfect bra.

What is it with BRAS!? The minute you think you have found your 'sole mate' in foundation garb - the manufacturer redesigns or deletes it - so replacing it is out of the question. So...what do you do? Well in MY case I continue to wear 'my favorite bra' until it can hardly contain its original shape let alone contain MY shape! At this point it is almost pointless (no pun intended) to even wear it...but going bra-less is not an option (most of the time...)!

Sadly my "best" bras are rapidly gaining the dreaded "weekend" bra status!

Why is it so darn difficult to select THE PERFECT BRA? Why can't one bra have all the desired features? I can have this strap on that bra - but not that strap on this bra.... And what the heck does THIS mean? "Minimizes size not shape". WHAT? Is "shimmering microfiber" a good thing? What are "supportive inner slings"? I suppose that piece of engineering is less obvious that an "outer supportive sling"... Did you know there are bras that "reduce bust projection"? Did you know you can purchase bras with "wings"? I certainly didn't!

I will be honest I am not a fan of under-wires. The concept of hard plastic or metal next to my skin does not sound like a match made in heaven. Sounds more like a medieval torture item (well...except for the plastic...I am smart enough to know that there were no plastic cudgels, maces, jousting armor, or gauntlets. Or ....were hammered breastplates the precursors to under-wire bras? Hmmmm... Or the precursor to MINIMIZING bras....

I have watched bra fitting video tutorials! I have learned new terminology: quad breasts; mono boobs...Did you know there are more than 260 'names' for breasts?!

Suffice it to say after a failed trip to two specialty stores, and a box store, and failed online ordering I am still on the hunt for THE PERFECT BRA! My dear husband looked quizzically at "mountain" (pun intended) of bras I had to return to the store. I gave him "the look" and told him, "you would NOT buy underwear in packages of 6!"

In the meantime I will treat my one and only GOOD bra with kid gloves, respect, and reverential kindness. It will ONLY be hand washed. It will receive NO dryer time. I may even give it it's own drawer! I may pad the drawer with silky soft quilting!

Okay! Rant over! On to the card. Speaking of too big and too small...the heart shape doily was too large so here it is .... sideways. Don't mess with me DOILY! I've had a rough couple of days!

~Base card Kraft card stock
~Red card stock square embossed with Sizzix Frame, Hearts, and Vines
~Vellum embossed with heart stamp from the $Tree using Versamark and red embossing powder; faux stitches (pin holes) across top; ends of vellum "ribbon" cut using deckle square punch
~Heart shape doily turned on its side
~Two white buttons with red embroidery floss
Challenges | Inspiration
Just Us Girls - photo
Retro Sketches - sketch
Pile It On - hearts/flowers
Sunday Stamps - colors
Shopping Our Stash - love

Here's to ranting, continuing my search for the Holy Grail of brassieres, persistence, and questioning the genetic pool that endowed me with more than my fair share of "beacons", "coconuts", "oompas",  "twin peaks"....

Nancy in Iowa


  1. such a beautiful valentine, i love all the texture and dimension you've incorporated into the lovely design! thanks for SHOPPING YOUR (loooooove!) STASH with us this week! :)

    ps: i can TOTALLY relate to the "bra rant"... i've NEVER been able to find the same bra twice, they always get discontinued; so now whenever i do find one i like i go back immediately & buy some extras! :0

  2. I almost missed seeing this beautiful card because I was laughing so hard at your post about bras!!!!!!!!! I'm STILL laughing!!!! SO true and funny! Maybe everyone in the world should just go bra-less and then we'd never have to worry about all that mess!
    I DO love your card though! The way you did the vellum tags on here and that gorgeous heart are outstanding! Good idea about turning the heart doily on the side too! Beautiful card!

  3. Good and true rant about finding the perfect bra and then they change them. Your card design is awesome! Love the vellum, the buttons, and how you ended up using that large doily heart! Thanks for joining us at Sunday Stamps!

  4. I am with ya on the bra rant...seriously...when I find a good one (which is hardly ever!!!) I buy them two or three at a time
    Lovely Valentine, I love the layers, the vellum and the offset heart shaped doily
    Thanks for playing along with the Shopping Our Stash crew this week for our "Love Me Do" challenge!!

  5. What a beautiful Valentine card. Love that doily!!! Great take on the challenge, thanks for joining us this week at Just Us Girls!

  6. BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! That has GOT to be one of the BEST blog posts out there!!! I can soooooo relate!!! Finding the perfect bra is like nailing jello to a wall - it can't be done!
    Now about your card - a truly gorgeous creation! Love that you turned that gargantuan heart doily on it's side, and love the vellum! Thanks for joining us this weed at Just Us Girls!

  7. Nancy - I loved your 'rant' and we can all certainly relate to it. What a shame we can't go bra-less. Well you can if you have them tiny. I used to like my size till menapause then they just 'exploded'. I keep telling my sister in law I would share as she has 'next to nothing' and doesn't need supporting but she keeps saying no.
    Just had to pop over and check your card out after finding out you are AGAIN our Chic of the Week. Congratulations - well deserved because it really is a beauty. Love all the different elements you added. Sure has that WOW factor.

  8. Oh my gosh, dying laughing at your bra rant! I feel you. The bra style I like only comes in ridiculous prints like bright green leopard or bright pink paisley.

    I love how the vellum on your card is folded to resemble a banner. I'm inspired to try that too!

  9. Totally get the bra thing. Such a fun rant. I went to Nordstroms and got fitted. Best thing I ever did for myself. Sure the bras are expensive but they fit comfortably and look nice, too! Of course, after the fitting and purchasing two from Nordy's, I hit eBay for a better price. Still in love with them and it is amazing what a properly fitted bra does to negate the effects of gravity! BTW, Love the card, too!

  10. Glad I stopped over to see your sweet card and read your rant on bras. They might be comfy in the morning but certainly aren't in the evening - good luck with your search

  11. I loved your rant, Nancy, and can so relate! It doesn't get any easier - in fact, it may get harder - when you get older, either, as the bosooms get heavier and longer!! If you find your bramate, let me know!! Your card is so pretty! I think YOU should design bras!! Congratulations on the well-deserved win from JUGS - what else, hahaha!! Hugs, Darnell

  12. ha. haha. hahaha. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! Best blog post ever. SO fun. Oh yeah, and your card is awesome! Congrats on the um...JUGS win!! :-)

  13. When I find *that* bra I buy a dozen ... seriously ( sales). I remember when my *favoirte* bra of 10+ years was discontinued ... I think I cried ... but at least I had 5 new ones in my stash, which gave me a year or so to find my new *favorite* (which I also then bought in bulk). Fun to meet a fellow Iowa crafter online.


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