The Book of Guppy

It's spring break on campus. The parking is bloody AWESOME! I had a rock-star space this morning! Even though most of the 'little darlins' are heading home, on tour or community service trips - I won't get the chance to miss them. I got 14 texts from an assorted batch of kids and stupidly managed to say 'yes' to babysitting fish.

I now have 'Mollie, Bob, Sally, Kevin, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and Stanley' swimming in a large bowl on my desk. My task would seem simple - feed them. I was also instructed on how to 'talk' to them. Each of the fish 'personalities' were described in detail to me. REALLY? They are 98 cent FISH!

Mollie, Bob, Sally, Kevin, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and Stanley have collective owners - they belong to Kayla, Jenna, Mary, and Allison. Kayla flew home to Colorado while Jenna, Mary, and Allison left for the "Mighty Midwest Choir Tour" on a tour bus. The choir will make stops in Omaha, Kansas City, and St. Louis...HOURS upon HOURS on a bus. (A bus with LOTS of singing - I almost (ALMOST) wish I was with them...)

Last night when the three fish 'parents' brought the Fish Family to my office - Allison decided Mollie Fish was - in her words, "preggers'. She 'got on the Google' and researched the details letting us all know in her best  "I'm almost a grade-school teacher" voice that it was official - Mollie was pregnant! According to one of the Internet resources, to validate the pregnancy, one should try to observe "a dark triangular spot near the anal vent." Mind you...Mollie is the size of an uncooked lima bean and rarely slows to a stop. Here are four 'girls' (young ladies) craning their heads to find the appropriate 'vent' while laughing uncontrollably. Somehow it refreshing to know that even techno-savvy, helicoptered, educated and pampered young women still find any reference to seldom mentioned-in-public body parts hysterically funny.

I was given strict instructions to text all four of them "at the SAME time" when the blessed event occurs. I reluctantly told them, "you do realize that 'house fish' frequently feed on their young... They were HORRIFIED! The "I'm almost a grade-school teacher" got back on the Google to verify my gruesome fish fact. They instructed me to diligently watch for the birth and then swoop in to save the 'youngins' from a fish feeding frenzy. SURE! I'll just video stream the bowl for the next two weeks to my iPod watching every nano second for the crowning and birthing of diminutive GUPPIES!

This morning one of my several texts was from one of the 'prospective parents' inquiring of the status of Mollie mom-to-be. I texted ALL of them at the same time, "Mollie appears to have either just had a severe case of constipation or she has given birth. Mollie is looking quite slender but the rest of the crew looks very satiated. If you don't know what satiated means - 'get on the Google' or ask the 'I'm almost a grade-school teacher'". Reply texts included: "I bet Kevin ate the babies I never did like that Kevin"; "that is epically sad", "please try to comfort Mollie"...

Little do they know I separated Mollie from the rest of her 'fish family'. On the off chance that she is actually "preggers" she now has some privacy and clumps of rocks to hide the wee ones. If a birthing is eminent she better hurry up because I will need to de-fish-a-fy, scrub, and fill the candy dish before "the children' get back from break. (Before YOU become horrified - I only fill it with individually wrapped candy.) Why did I hit them with such a sad and untrue texted tale? Well...this way when they get home if there a guppy-ettes they will be thrilled. If no guppy off-spring...they were already braced for it... AND I won't get hourly texts requesting a labor and delivery update!

And there you have a day in the life of a Career Development/Dorm Mother...

This card is for Sara, the research librarian, on campus. We have bonded over our  love of books - the weight in your hand...the smell of the pulp...the cracking of the spine when you're lucky enough to be the first to read it... and our contrasting love of technology and e-books. And we both like 'really, really NICE paper! Since she is a paper 'freak', like me, I thought I would make her a set of cards. This is the first one.

The Borrower's
~Base card - Gina K Designs Pure Ivory - edges distressed using the edge of a metal ruler and smudged with Stampin' Up Chocolate Chip and Distress Ink Antique Linen
~All four layers of design paper are Basic Grey Basics Manila and Basics Kraft collections
~Chipboard photo corner
~Images are from Stampin' Up Stamp of Authenticity set using Stampin' Up Chocolate Chip and Really Rust
~Brown cardstock tab created using tab punch and held in place with staple
~Vintage seam binding (a gift from sister Gail)
Challenges
Do You Stack Up - anything goes
4 Crafty Chicks - photo inspiration
Simon Says Stamp - Coffee and Cream
Anything Goes - distressing
Party Time Tuesday - anything goes
There She Goes - lined art only - no coloring, no shading

Thanks for clicking by.
Nancy in Iowa